What, you ask, is inherited shame?
What if I told you many emotions are inherited, that they are passed down in our lineage from generation to generation? Our ancestors didn’t pass it down on purpose nor did we do anything wrong to inherit it. Yes, we inherited our gifts and talents from our ancestors, but unfortunately, we also inherited things like trauma, phobias, and negative emotions.
Shame is just one of those negative emotions and after working with thousands of clients over the years, these are the different ways I see it present itself in their lives.
[one_half]Shame causes complications in many areas, from raising children to interpersonal relationships to business. It causes people to second-guess their decisions and not trust their intuition. It’s a constant internal battle to make the right choice, as this pattern slows them down, causing problems with employees and within a family dynamic.
It can cause them to never really feel qualified to be seen or known as an expert, even if they have years of experience.
Let me share an example of how this could show up in your life.
Let’s say you have a wonderful idea for a book, maybe you’ve even started writing it (or you’ve started many times, I know). It’s a fabulous book that has the potential to help thousands and influence many lives for good. But because of shame, and that deep-down feeling of not being worthy to be known as “the expert,” you procrastinate.
It’s really no fault of your own that you haven’t been able to get this done, because until we remove inherited shame, you really don’t have complete control over all of your feelings or the resulting actions. And so, I’m very happy to tell you that what used to be difficult or feel impossible doesn’t have to be anymore, once shame is removed.
In fact, shame is the lowest emotion that you can have. It also triggers jealousy, which means one might have a habit of comparing themselves to other successful people. The bottom line is, this pattern freezes everyone, it never works to our advantage to compare.
I know for some reading this post it may be hard to understand because energy isn’t something we see. But if we could, here’s a visual: the character in Charlie Brown, Pig Pen. He has a constant dust cloud around him. My intention when I work with my clients is to clear that cloud, pulling out negative emotions, releasing the energy that doesn’t serve their highest good so that they can see out with more clarity and, also, so that others can see and recognize them for who they really are.