Being able to apologize when you are in the wrong is an important part of being an emotionally healthy person.
We need to be able to own our mistakes and things that we have done that have hurt other people, and do our best to make amends.
However…there are many people who need to learn how to NOT apologize!
Yes…you heard me right!
Being overly apologetic could be a sign that all is not well with your emotional health or personal identity within your relationships.
Does any of the following sound familiar…?
Apologizing to a store clerk or waiter because they got your order wrong…
“I’m so sorry for causing an issue but this is not what I ordered.” Then you continue to apologize at every step of their attempts to fix the situation.
Apologizing to someone because they did not take the time to read your instructions or understand what you meant…
“I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding, I guess I could have been clearer.” (No, you were as clear as you could possibly be.)
Apologizing for voicing a professional / educated opinion…
“Sorry, (men at the boardroom table), but here is a little idea I came up with. You probably already thought of it so sorry if that’s not the direction you are going.”
Apologizing for taking time for ourselves…
“Sorry (husband/partner/children) that I couldn’t make dinner tonight, but I really want to go out with my friend to celebrate her birthday.”
“Sorry, (boss), for not responding to your text on Sunday afternoon, I was out with my family.”
Apologizing for being who we are…
“I’m so sorry I’m so emotional.”
“I’m sorry I’m an introvert and need time to myself.”
“I’m so sorry I’m so passionate about this subject and the injustice that I see.”
If you find yourself apologizing for things that you shouldn’t be, you need to consider the following reasons why you might be doing that…
You perceive you are in a lower position and apologize to keep the favor of those around you…
You feel guilty for not being able to meet everybody’s needs or putting your needs first…
You qualify your opinions so that you do not make the others in the room look less smart that you are…
For many, the underlying issue can even be as serious as apologizing just for being present.
If you are one of these people, we need to take a look at your base beliefs about your own power, worth, contributions and needs.
Repeat the following truth statements to bring light to your false beliefs:
I have infinite value and worth
My needs are valid and deserve to be met
I set healthy boundaries for all my interactions
I am an expert in my field and my opinions matter
I take responsibility for my own actions, not the actions or responses of others.
As you begin to reclaim your own power and understand that you are equal to everyone you interact with, you will naturally stop disempowering yourself through excessive apologizing.
Continue to apologize for any wrong actions you have committed, but never apologize for how you feel, your opinions, your needs or your presence.
Excessive apologizing brings a disempowered energy with it that can creep into every aspect of your life that can leave you feeling less confident and even increase your fear of “being seen or heard.”
To move forward in confidence and authenticity you need to identify and release those patterns.
Are you tired of being held back by feelings of rejections, are you ready to feel more CONFIDENT and COURAGEOUS?
Check out my life-changing program: Transforming Fear into Action.