In some ways we are all in a place of grieving. Grieving is a regular part of the cycle of life. It is not only death that causes grief.
The loss of anything in life needs to be properly acknowledged and space given to grieve its absence.
A betrayal…the loss of a close relationship…job or even moving into a new phase in life can cause the cycle of grief to be initiated.
Sometimes it is even the loss of a dream or letting go of what we thought life or a relationship would be, that sends us into a grieving cycle.
There are times when we hold grief for others who have experienced significant loss and we take on part of their burden.
We hold space for those in our family or close friends and can feel their loss as significantly as they do.
There are times we grieve material items or the loss of a home.
Sometimes we lose something of significant sentimental value.
It doesn’t matter what it is…all loss needs to be recognized and appropriately honored.
If we do not take the time to properly honor our grief, it can become stuck in our bodies and cause us issues in other areas of life as we try to move forward.
Stuck grief might show up a health issue or sudden disease onset. Sometimes this stuck energy will manifest as ‘displaced’ grief where we end up acting with disproportionate anger or sadness towards another person or event. Other times we may do something that is completely out of character or make a rash emotionally based decision.
When we do not properly acknowledge our emotions, one way or another they will find a way to be heard. When you are grieving remember the following:
Grief is hard.
Grief is a personal journey.
Grief is unwanted.
Grief comes in waves.
Grief affects every part of our lives.
Grief can surprise us and seem to not make any sense.
Grief has no set timeline or process.
When we are locked in grief, there are no pat answers or healing words that universally help. Something that one person may find healing…another person may find extremely hurtful.
That is why when you are coming alongside someone who is grieving, the best thing you can do for them is listen to them and when they are ready, help them to give voice to their mess of emotions.
When you are grieving, it is important to not allow your inner dialogue to become filled with fear-based lies that will keep you trapped in ongoing despair. These lies can present themselves when feelings such as fear, guilt, betrayal and anger inevitably come up.
For instance, you will often hear grieving people say things like, “God must hate me”, or “It’s all my fault”, or “I will never open my heart to anyone again”. While it is good to express these feelings (fears) as they come up, it is important to bring truth to them so that they do not continue to grow and fester.
Ask for help when you need it, from both friends and professionals to make sure that you are getting the support you require.
While you are processing your emotions, consider the below truth statements. These can be very difficult truth statements to hear when you are grieving, and you may need to put them aside until you are in a place where you ready to hear them and are able to speak them.
When you are ready they will help you to reorient yourself and heal any of the false beliefs that you may have picked up during your grieving process.
Say them daily so that they will reaffirm your infinite value and your desire to move forward in truth, confidence and love.
I honor and release the memories of my past and those who joined me for part of my journey
I am moving forward and allowing positive changes that serve my highest good into my life
I no longer fear change, I embrace change
I am 100% worthy of love, companionship and belonging
I can do hard things whether I believe it or not
I am calm, inspired and fearless in learning new things
I am choosing to let go of any and all negative chatter, fear and false beliefs about my past, present and future
You are stronger than you realize, and I honor you as you continue your journey through grief. There are days you may feel like you are right back at the beginning stages of your grieving process, but know and understand that every day that passes, the healing continues.