Some days we feel like we are propelled forward and then only hours or days later we are back at square one.
Two steps forward…three steps back.
We celebrate everything that looks like a win and quietly hide anything that looks like a loss…
We have this idea that anything that looks like it is taking us backwards is a negative or undesirable thing…
We often see the failure of a business, relationships or personal goals as a permanent stain on our life record.
Nobody wants to fail
Nobody wants to see something they have put time, energy and love into simply fall apart.
We see failure as a giant step backwards.
We attach all kinds of stories to failure.
We say things like, “I’m a loser…I can’t get it together…nothing that I do ever works out.”
When we launch ourselves into this type of thinking pattern, we end up depressed and locked into a cycle of fear.
But…what if we started looking at our failures through a different set of criteria. What if we stopped looking at our outward results, and instead focused on the underlying energy that is propelling our actions.
What if we could see our failures through a different lens?
Think for a moment about something that you “failed” at. You need to remember the only way you could have failed was if you had the courage to try in the first place.
You could only fail at your business if you had the courage to open your own business in the first place…
You could only fail at your marriage if you decided to try this incredibly challenging thing of joining your life with another person.
Did you go on a date for the first time in years and it was completely awkward?
You had the courage to go on a date!
Did you book yourself to speak at an event and only two people showed up?
You had the courage to put yourself out there.
Did you stop engaging in a destructive habit only to pick it up again a month later?
You had the courage to try to change.
If we allow them to, these types of results can feed the negative messages that we have received throughout our lives that we are not enough. This can cause us to become stuck in fear and stop us from trying to move forward in our business, relationships and personal development. If we focus too much on the results we might decide it is not worth it to try again.
This is a false belief that needs to be recognized and brought into the light of the truth…
The truth is, everyone who has ever done anything worth doing has failed.
We look at the successes of those around us and make up a story that they are somehow better than we are because they have achieved something we have not.
Because we/they hide the failures we never get to see that they too only started out with two people attending their speaking events… or they had eighteen terrible first dates before they found the love of their lives…or that their book was rejected by 32 publishers before it became a bestseller.
The truth is… failure is our biggest teacher because it shows us what doesn’t work for us so that we can focus our energies where they need to be focused.
When you are locked in an emotion of shame, embarrassment or despair over a setback in your life, it is important that you silence the stories and bring truth to the lies that keep you stuck in a fear response.
State the following truth statements to help you realign your thoughts so that you can take what you have learned from failure and channel it into your next step outside your comfort zone:
Failure is my teacher. I will apply the lessons I have learned
I tell myself facts, not stories about my setbacks
I am divine potential. I can be and do anything
I am safe and have the courage to try again
**Failure does not define you.
**Failure does not signal the end to your ability to achieve great things.
If you let failure stop you from trying again, the world will miss out on the skills, talents, messages and love that you are here to bring to it.
If failure has left you with some significant fear blocks and you are having trouble moving forward check out my 30 day Fear into Action program and begin to embrace success confidently.