When Forgiveness is Hard

When you have been through something traumatic involving another person wronging you, the range of emotions including denial, anger, sadness, depression, rage and even paralysis can be overwhelming and exhausting.

The loss of trust and the feelings of betrayal seem to hang in the air and continue to sabotage joy and peace long after the actual offense or victimization has occurred.

The ongoing consequences of betrayal are not dependent solely upon the severity of the betrayal, but more so how you perceive and process the action or intention…and often that includes what you decide the betrayal says about you.

For instance, being rejected could cause you to believe that you are not worth being loved… or being the constant focus of someone’s anger could cause you to believe that you can’t do anything right. It’s like you need to find a rationale for “why” this happened so that you can take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again…which can cause you to believe fierce lies about yourself.

Sometimes an offense is too traumatic for an individual to process consciously and the energy of the offense remains physically carried in a part of the body. This is where we will see unexplained pain or a chronic issue of dis-ease that manifest as a result of trauma.

Being at a place in your life where you are able to forgive a wrong that has been done to you is both a brave and counterintuitive place to be.

It’s an individual decision and cannot be based on a universal timeline or set of events.  Everybody’s journey through forgiveness is different.

Even if you fully understand the importance of forgiveness to your own health and healing and you want to forgive, you may still find that your anger or bitterness is in control.

This is where affirming what you know is best…even if you can’t actually be in a state of total forgiveness…is an important step in the right direction.

Stating the right affirmations during your forgiveness journey will help you to

  • Counter the lies that the offense has caused you to believe about yourself
  • Begin to move the ‘stuck’ energy that the offense has imprinted on your physical body
  • Begin to replace your sadness, anger, and despair with acceptance, joy and forward movement

State these affirmations daily to help you reach the point of healing and forgiveness…

  • I am now and always loved, valued and important
  • I am worthy, I am enough
  • I am choosing to forgive because it will bring me healing in all areas of my life
  • I feel peace and joy as I no longer give my power away to those who have wronged me
  • As I turn my weaknesses into strengths, the wisdom learned from the past, creates the strength, desire, and knowledge to become my best self now and in the future

Remember that forgiveness is not a linear event…it’s a process.  You may feel forgiving one day but then revert to anger or despair the next day.

Give yourself the grace to understand that this is normal and always be honest with where you are at.

 As you continue to affirm the above statements and practice forgiveness, new pathways will form, and the old stuck energy of anger and trauma will be released.  Ask for help when you need it and lean on your supporters as you work through this process.

Remember the universe is on your side and is offering loving support as you take these steps… Once you forgive, once you let go, your energy will change forever.


Lisa Thomas is a transformational leader, gifted healer and intuitive coach. She integrates business with her natural gifts to help her clients embrace all of life.

Working with talented people from all walks of life, to help them get their gifts and talents into the world in a more significant way; she believes everyone deserves to be seen, known and heard for who they are.

Lisa is devoted to reconnecting people to their Soul’s purpose, so they can experience more love, joy and financial abundance.

She has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their business and life goals by releasing Inherited Emotional DNA, such as fear of success, fear of failure, anxiety, procrastination, fear of public speaking, false money beliefs, relationship drama, and business stagnation.

She does this within her small-group programs, private coaching and Meditation Healing Activation products. She lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband and family.

She has been featured on Good Morning LaLa LandAllie & YouDare to DreamInspired Conversations, as well as other shows and podcasts. Her book, Mistakes Into Money, will be published in Summer 2019.

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My life opened up in ways I never thought possible… Working with Lisa Thomas has completely transformed my life. I am making more money, working with more of my ideal clients, and enjoying the work that I do more than ever before.”

Jaime Geffner, Geffner Productions

Working with Lisa, my body and spirit feel so much lighter. I had years of anxiety ‘stuck’ in my body that I just could not get rid of, no matter what I did. Lisa also helped my son overcome his fear of shots, which was a huge deal! We are blessed to have found Lisa!”

May Paolim, SassyED.com

Her work lasts. It’s life changing!I was trapped, stuck, suffocating behind these old emotions I didn’t even know I had! Lisa actually made it possible for my body to heal. It’s not just some feel good for a day then back to old ways. Her work is life changing!”

Sophia Dalton, sophiaruiz.com