Whether you currently find yourself in the middle of the toddler years…teen years or somewhere in between, navigating the role of a parent can be fraught with disharmony and conflict when there is a clash of personalities or will.
As a parent, you have the best intentions and want to do whatever you can to raise kind, empowered and well-adjusted children…but sometimes the day-to-day chaos of piles of laundry and late for practice situations cause tension that can blur the focus and create disharmony within the home.
When you add to that situation something like a divorce, physical or mental health issues, caring for elderly parents or financial strain, the ability to remain composed and farsighted when caring for children can become extremely difficult.
It is so easy to get caught up in the stress of the day and a small thing like socks left on the floor (again) or too much screen time can suddenly become an unwanted battleground.
These points of conflict result from expectations that children should be conscious, respectful and follow the standards that you have set in place for them.
While it is right and good to set expectations and standards for children, forcing them to be respectful and obedient does not send the right message and often backfires into rebellion or withdrawing.
Added to all this is the fact that you bring so much of your own upbringing into your parenting style and whether you do exactly as your parents did…or the complete opposite, the fact remains you are passing along your inherited patterns of behavior to your children.
It is important for children to have the space to be themselves, learn, make mistakes and have support when dealing with the consequences of their mistakes.
The goal should not be to produce good, little, bubble wrapped obedient children but to create an environment of age-appropriate mutual respect and boundaries which will allow for mistakes, scraped knees and working through disappointments.
The following affirmations can be used to help you re-center yourself and remind you of what is important during those flash-point moments of conflict over homework or chores. Re-centering can allow you to remain detached and respond in a more farsighted manner
I empower my children with opportunities for self-growth, self-expression, and learning.
I make my own self-care a priority so that I can care for those entrusted to me.
I manifest happiness within beautiful, loving family relationships.
I trust myself to communicate authentically and openly with my children.
I make quality time with my children a priority.
I choose to move beyond my past mistakes and release the need for perfection.
The goal is never for you to be a ‘perfect parent’ or your children ‘perfect children’…that is way too much pressure on everyone!
The goal is to be authentic and remember that your own journey of growth and improvement is still ongoing…and that your children are here to teach you just as much as you teach them.